PAUL-A BUNYON IS IN THE HOUSE!

TIME TO SUN DA BUNS!

Five more days until my youthful bride and I are off to Jamaica! We will depart early Saturday morning where temps will be hovering around 15 degrees and will arrive late afternoon at the Montego Bay airport to what we hope will be 85 degree temperatures---ahhhhhh.
We will be celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary (thank you Ebay business) at the Riu Ochos Rios hotel, a brand new 850 unit all inclusive resort. We are merely going to inspect it to see if it is worthy of bringing our children to it next Summer :)
The boys will be entrusted to care for themselves. The freezer will have adequate amount of frozen pizzas.
Off to buy suntan lotion.....and perhaps sunrise lotion....

I CANT MAKE THIS STUFF UP.....

Seventeen plus years in a 911 center and there is always more evidence that the human brain cells have dwindled in size....true story today while working overtime in broad daylight on a Sunday...

911 Operator (me:): Lakweood Police 911, what's your emergency?

Caller (5o yr old male): I dont believe what I am seeing!

911: Sir, what's going on?

Caller: I am at the intersection of Ohio and Alameda and there is a black bear right in front of me.

911:Actually sir, in that part of Lakewood, we see one or two a year. Is the bear acting aggressive?

Caller: No, he is just meandering toward a field, but I am concerned as it is near a school. (My first hint, public schools arent open in Lakewood on Sundays :).

911: Okay sir, can you just remain a safe distance away. Are you on foot or in a car?

Caller:Actually I saw it while driving and decided to get out of my car and walked toward the general vicinity. (Second clue, not recommended to exit car where bears abound :).

911: Okay, I will have Animal Control swing by and you can point it out to them. Just keep back, watch for them and their white van and they should be there shortly.

Caller: Okay, I will,thanks for your help.

Animal Control Officer: Citizen mistook bear for loose black schnauzer named "Crash".

Loving my seat in life--FRONT ROW OF THE CIRCUS!

RALSTON VALLEY MOVING ON UP

The football team where Austin attends high school (4A) got one step closer to the State Championship as they beat #1 ranked Monarch High School 17-0 on Friday evening. The #9 ranked Mustangs were all knotted up 0-0 after 3 quarters of play, but fortunes turned their way in the 4th quarter to take the victory. Next up, the Wheat Ridge Farmers. Yes, just by their team name you know they have been around awhile as they are a Denver suburb school--officially, over 100 years in existence!

The Wheat Ridge game will be the State 4A semi-final game and is a rematch of these two teams from a game that took place about a month ago! In that game, with the ball on the 10 yard line and 6 seconds left and RVHS trailing 7-0, the Mustang QB lofted a pass into the corner of the end zone for a 'miracle catch'. But in one of the most brazen coaching moves I have ever seen at any level, RV's coach decided NOT to tie the game and opted to try the 2 point converstion. A simple handoff to their running back seemed to be stopped at the 1yd line, but the entire Offensive line got behind their back and 'willed' him into the end zone--GAME OVER--8-7 winners!

RVHS has lost only one game and that was to last year's State championship team Thunder Ridge. And you ask who did Thunder Ridge beat last year at State--you guessed it, RVHS! They too are one of 4 teams left in the State. Headed for a rematch............we can only hope!

THE YEARN TO RETURN

919 days.....1284 days.......until we stick the HOME FOR SALE sign in the front yard....919 represents when Austin graduates high school and 1284 Cameron graduating from college...we have yet to decide which one it will be, but do know both seem like such a long time away.

Teri and I can't wait to return to the simple life of our Texas motherland. We agree we have no regret living the Colorado lifestyle the past 18 years, but it is one we dont want to continue when we become empty nesters. As funny as it may sound, it seems as our lonliness for Texas really surfaces annually when Fall is in the Texas air, the County Music Awards have just been televised and whitetail deer hunting is just getting underway. Well, at least for me.


Personally, what I miss and what I want most, in no particular order...
* Real family, real friends
* Whataburger
* Fall drizzly days
* 65MPH speed limit on the back roads
* A Republican governor
* Migas on the breakfast menu
* A back porch where I can see the deer feeder
* A friendly hand wave on the Farm to Market road
* An easy drive to the Fredericksburg cemetery
* A guaranteed Longhorn broadcast on Saturday
* REAL fajitas on the grill
* Multiple choices for Country Music on the radio dial
* School closings due to icy overpasses, not shootings
* Opening day of Whitewing season
* Friday night football
* Breakfast tacos with REAL tortillas
* Affordable auto labor
* The Death Penalty
* Wearing a straw cowboy hat and fitting in
* 2 months to hunt deer
* The Texaco and Dairy Queen only a rock throw away
* Two pickups in the driveway
* A small church
* CMT as a cable channel option
* Drivers who yield by pulling over on the shoulder
* A front porch
* Simple courtesy
* The 'Boys on the tube Sunday afternoon
* Ya'll


It's a bit curious, our best Colorado friends hail from Texas. Our other best friends for years that we met in Colorado now live in Texas. My best friend work peer went to Jr High in Texas. Our Senior Pastor who just retired is returning to Texas. There is something to be said about the Lone Star state. Only a current or former Texan would understand. Or perhaps more simply, once a Texan, always a Texan.

Anxiously waiting to sign the one-way U-haul rental agreement......

HUNTING MARATHON!

Well, we have returned. What a quick turnaround trip, but a great father-oldest son experience. No success. As a matter of a fact, our friends have been hunting this area for 8 years and had never seen it this slow. In an area that is heavily hunted and an area where a gunshot can be heard for 5 miles, not a peep this morning. Our first day out, we departed 545am and walked back into camp 5pm. Of that timeframe, we probably hoofed half the time. Back out again this morning from 6am-10am, not a hint of an animal. Although there was an ATV on site, our trail was a mere hiking route about 2 foot wide and plenty of fallen timber, so no way you could get a snow vehicle of any kind on the path.

On our drive back, Cam reflected on our Texas hunting trips. He did confess that harvesting an animal in our Colorado mountains is something you can boast as 'true hunting'. In terms of sheer beauty, nothing compares to the glistening snow and evergreens at 9500 feet. Our friends here treated us as family. BUT, Texas hunting was full of activity, not near the work (not that work is a bad thing) and his Aunty Sissy and Uncle Jon's meals are second to none. We talked alot about the differences and he had a great attitude about trying Colorado again and came out of their really respecting the efforts most hunters have to exert to have success. On the other hand, his dad cant get back to Texas quick enough once and for all-- not just for hunting either. Enjoy the photos....

WOW---it is hard to describe even in pictures what an adventurous workout this weekend was. Down in the middle of the snowpack you will see a green cluster---that was our 1st stop at the beaver ponds where we watched for about 2hrs. It took us almost 1.5hrs just to get to that spot as our camp is even further down and no where in the picture. I am guessing somewhere in the neighborhood of a 800 ft ascent in the dark, cold and snowpack of the Rockies leaving camp at 545am, plopping down at 715 am for our 1st hunting stop.
Cam, all geared up! This was actually the green cluster area near the beaver ponds I mentioned before. Literally, without embilishment, it would have taken us 3 grown men 4hrs to even think about trekking down a harvested elk. The thought and benefit of Cam being a helicopter pilot did cross my mind SEVERAL TIMES! We sat right at the evergreen tree right behind Cam for a couple hours. Yes, we had buns of steel when we got up.

Over 2hrs more and another 800 feet, we reached the highest ridge in our hunting area. Without question at this point, the marathon I ran 2 years ago was easier than this as I was packing about 30 lbs of equipment on my back, and, in some points, 16" of untraveled snow, and temps around 20 or so..

What I want to see on my next deer hunting trip in the Rockies...

HEADED TO THE ROCKIES!

Cam and I are headed up to 10,000 feet--this time by truck, not airplane. A couple of friends from the church are already up by Steamboat Springs and we will join the crew late tomorrow afternoon and hunt all day Saturday and Sunday. Cam will be the hunter, I will be the packer, guide, tracker (hopefully) and will let him take any shot. He has both a bull elk license and a mule deer doe one. No sense me spending money on license as we have no desire nor room to bring back 2 animals. Foreceast looks decent--there has been a ton of snow, but we are in a drying/warming period right now with temps easily remaining above zero at day break.

We had an opportunity to harvest our first wildlife last nite at 9pm as a trophy raccoon decided to walk up on our deck and stick her nose against our sliding door. Our 10 yr old hound dog was headed toward cardiac arrest when she was told to go look ou the door as she was not anticipating a trespasser with a mask on.

Tally Ho!

OPEN MOUTH, INSERT FOOT

PONDERIN'.......

With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and wiith the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks,"Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

LEFT LANE LOU ANN, SCOOT OVER!

As will be needed before 'peeving', I will have to prequalify my comments to destroy any preconceived prejudices the reader may have. I am fond of women, specifically, ONE, my wife! But, it goes beyond that. I have fantastic female friends. My twin sister is an awesome Texas lady. My mom, God rest her soul, was splendid. My mother-in-law is stellar. My sister-in-law equally as nice. My niece is a cutey patooty. So, I am not anti-woman, but I am anti-Left Lane Louann!

For background, I have been accident free for 25 years and ticketless for 18 years. I drive 13 miles to work one way 4 times a week. Most of my path is divided road, 2 lanes each direction with an average speed limit in the 40 mph range. I am not a road rager, but I am a road observer. My driving peeve, one of several, but by far the one that grinds my axe, LEFT LANE LOUANNS!

You creep out from a side street or slowly merge from the entrance ramp and my blood pressure soars as I know your destination--the LEFT LANE. Your interpretation of HOV -High Ovarian Vehicles! I can spot you a mile away--yes, you, the female gender camped out in the left lane as if you were browsing the cosmetic section at Macy's, oblivious to any surroundings.

In Texas, you are known as a homesteader, your small plot of asphalt that you claim as your own. The rear view mirror is their merely for personal inspection and represents no value to your outside vehicular world. You have perfected 'knee-wheel' driving as a cell phone graces one hand and often a tobacco tube in the other. My greatest fear as I pass you on your right is seeing that you have a manual transmission--what appendage controls that lever? You are a rolling roadblock for other drivers who may have a destination and a deadline to meet. Your consumption to your internal auto enviroment precludes any possibility for discovering there are road signs prohibiting your behavior as several State legislatures have substantiated my claim and declared you to be an aggravating nuisance and authored a statute against your road antics.

You ask about Left lane Lous, there are a few..but left lane Louann's line the roadscape. All I want is a lane that says "Middle Age Men Lane". Problem solved. Please, I love you as a gender, but it is time to scoot over...God made you Left-Brained, Not Left Laned!

SOMETHING TO PONDER...

..why is Abbreviation such a long word.....

WEDNESDAY'S WISE WORDS

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

RED RIVER BLOW OUT!

LONGHORNS: 28

SOONERS: 10

AN APPLE A DAY.....

Recently, I received a 911 call from a lady inquiring about our non-emergency phone number. Yes, she called 911 because, as she stated "I didnt know how to look up your non-emergency phone number". So , it was a slow Sunday morning and I decided to spend some quality time with her (we have a queue system where I can watch for other incoming 911 calls). I learned from her that the police department had been called out to her home the night before as she had caught someone toilet-papering her front and back yard. She was a bit disappointed as we didnt stay long enough to ensure the complete removal of tissue and wanted to know if we could call the 'suspects' back over to finish the clean up.

I presumptiously told her that, as a parent of teens myself, I would have my teens and their 'friends' work out a cleaning arrangement and that was not cause to tie up a law enforecement officer. She rebutted these were not kids, these were adults. The lady was then prompted to tell me if she knew who they were and she responded, "Yes, they are 25 year old women who teach at the same school I teach".

I ended the conversation. I figured if a teacher didnt know what an emergency was nor how to look up the local phone number for her police department, I didnt want to know any more aboout her! I really, really NEED to be in church on Sunday morning.

WEDNESDAY'S WITTY WORDS

Seen at Austin's race Monday on the back of a runner's shirt- "Our Sport is Your Sport's Punishment"....

Now that was a laugh out loud moment for yours truly..

A NICE SUNDAY AFTERNOON DRIVE

WEDNESDAY'S WISE WORDS

If you are willing to admit faults, you have one less fault to admit.

THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR

Working in a 911 center, as I have eluded to before, gives us the opportunity to speak with the educationally challenged. I will at times provide examples to substantiate my claim. The following is such an example: As part of a routine, but unattended (no witnesses) death investigation, officers will inquire as to time of death using various resources. One method is to check caller ID history and answering machine messages to determine last time the victim took a phone call or messages were left indicating an effort to contact them.

On a recent such call, we arrived on scene to check on a 'suspicious odor' being reported by tenants at an apartment complex. Upon glancing in through a window, officers observed a motionless male laying on the floor and unresponsive to any effort to awaken him from the outside. Forced entry was necessary and it was determined the subject was indeed deceased and had been so for awhile.

Officers checked the answering machine and determined the prior day a friend had arrived at 3pm, peeked in through the window and left the following message via cell phone-"Hey dude, I see you laying down on the floor near the coffee table and you dont look very comfortable. It looks like you are dead. Call us when you wake up". Three hours later, another friend drops by, peeks in the window and similarly calls via cell phone and notes "Hey, get off the floor and quit your sleeping--give me a call". That's what friends are for....

Gotta luv it! Til next time....

WEDNESDAY'S WISE WORDS

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

GONE POSTAL

Well, Teri and I decided to try something different with our Ebay apparel business. Since January, we have faithfully been listing weekly about 20-25 items with a success rate each week of about 85% of all items being sold. The mundaneness of it all prompted us to think about aborting weekly in lieu of monthly. Well, they ended last nite--100 items listed, 96--yes, 96% sold--that's the good news. Now the bad news-- we have gone postal! Of the 96, 2/3 were paid within the first 18hrs, so we have been having a postal party all day today. The first trip at 7:30 am delivered 20 to the USPS. There will be an evening trip of another 25 and then tomorrow at noon USPS comes to us here at the house to pick up another 20 or so! All points of the globe involved as we sold to Australia, Canada, Singapore and South Korea. I think we might like it better this way, but still not certain. Until next time....