With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and wiith the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks,"Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"
Friday, October 27, 2006
PONDERIN'.......
Monday, October 23, 2006
LEFT LANE LOU ANN, SCOOT OVER!
As will be needed before 'peeving', I will have to prequalify my comments to destroy any preconceived prejudices the reader may have. I am fond of women, specifically, ONE, my wife! But, it goes beyond that. I have fantastic female friends. My twin sister is an awesome Texas lady. My mom, God rest her soul, was splendid. My mother-in-law is stellar. My sister-in-law equally as nice. My niece is a cutey patooty. So, I am not anti-woman, but I am anti-Left Lane Louann!
For background, I have been accident free for 25 years and ticketless for 18 years. I drive 13 miles to work one way 4 times a week. Most of my path is divided road, 2 lanes each direction with an average speed limit in the 40 mph range. I am not a road rager, but I am a road observer. My driving peeve, one of several, but by far the one that grinds my axe, LEFT LANE LOUANNS!
You creep out from a side street or slowly merge from the entrance ramp and my blood pressure soars as I know your destination--the LEFT LANE. Your interpretation of HOV -High Ovarian Vehicles! I can spot you a mile away--yes, you, the female gender camped out in the left lane as if you were browsing the cosmetic section at Macy's, oblivious to any surroundings.
In Texas, you are known as a homesteader, your small plot of asphalt that you claim as your own. The rear view mirror is their merely for personal inspection and represents no value to your outside vehicular world. You have perfected 'knee-wheel' driving as a cell phone graces one hand and often a tobacco tube in the other. My greatest fear as I pass you on your right is seeing that you have a manual transmission--what appendage controls that lever? You are a rolling roadblock for other drivers who may have a destination and a deadline to meet. Your consumption to your internal auto enviroment precludes any possibility for discovering there are road signs prohibiting your behavior as several State legislatures have substantiated my claim and declared you to be an aggravating nuisance and authored a statute against your road antics.
You ask about Left lane Lous, there are a few..but left lane Louann's line the roadscape. All I want is a lane that says "Middle Age Men Lane". Problem solved. Please, I love you as a gender, but it is time to scoot over...God made you Left-Brained, Not Left Laned!
Monday, October 16, 2006
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Saturday, October 07, 2006
AN APPLE A DAY.....
Recently, I received a 911 call from a lady inquiring about our non-emergency phone number. Yes, she called 911 because, as she stated "I didnt know how to look up your non-emergency phone number". So , it was a slow Sunday morning and I decided to spend some quality time with her (we have a queue system where I can watch for other incoming 911 calls). I learned from her that the police department had been called out to her home the night before as she had caught someone toilet-papering her front and back yard. She was a bit disappointed as we didnt stay long enough to ensure the complete removal of tissue and wanted to know if we could call the 'suspects' back over to finish the clean up.
I presumptiously told her that, as a parent of teens myself, I would have my teens and their 'friends' work out a cleaning arrangement and that was not cause to tie up a law enforecement officer. She rebutted these were not kids, these were adults. The lady was then prompted to tell me if she knew who they were and she responded, "Yes, they are 25 year old women who teach at the same school I teach".
I ended the conversation. I figured if a teacher didnt know what an emergency was nor how to look up the local phone number for her police department, I didnt want to know any more aboout her! I really, really NEED to be in church on Sunday morning.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
WEDNESDAY'S WITTY WORDS
Seen at Austin's race Monday on the back of a runner's shirt- "Our Sport is Your Sport's Punishment"....
Now that was a laugh out loud moment for yours truly..
Sunday, October 01, 2006
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