I CANT MAKE THIS STUFF UP.....

Seventeen plus years in a 911 center and there is always more evidence that the human brain cells have dwindled in size....true story today while working overtime in broad daylight on a Sunday...

911 Operator (me:): Lakweood Police 911, what's your emergency?

Caller (5o yr old male): I dont believe what I am seeing!

911: Sir, what's going on?

Caller: I am at the intersection of Ohio and Alameda and there is a black bear right in front of me.

911:Actually sir, in that part of Lakewood, we see one or two a year. Is the bear acting aggressive?

Caller: No, he is just meandering toward a field, but I am concerned as it is near a school. (My first hint, public schools arent open in Lakewood on Sundays :).

911: Okay sir, can you just remain a safe distance away. Are you on foot or in a car?

Caller:Actually I saw it while driving and decided to get out of my car and walked toward the general vicinity. (Second clue, not recommended to exit car where bears abound :).

911: Okay, I will have Animal Control swing by and you can point it out to them. Just keep back, watch for them and their white van and they should be there shortly.

Caller: Okay, I will,thanks for your help.

Animal Control Officer: Citizen mistook bear for loose black schnauzer named "Crash".

Loving my seat in life--FRONT ROW OF THE CIRCUS!