Folks are always excited when I tell them I work for a 911 center with the usual comment of "Wow, that must be exciting"! My standard response has always been "Well, 80% boredom, 20% panic---we get paid for the panic".
I just thought I would share my past week, nothing special at all--no Columbine High School tragedy, no Democratic Convention, etc.- just the average week in an emergency call center. Some calls tragic, a few serious, a share that are humorous and many confirming the notion of the 'dumbing of America'. None of this information is embellished or exaggerated, it truly is an inside peek of this past week.
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911 caller: Yes, can I have your non-emergency phone number?
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911 caller: I just returned from walking my dog and my 45 year old boyfriend is dead in the shower.
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911 caller: I need paramedics because I just stabbed two people.
Response: You stabbed two people?
911 caller: Yes, I am schizophrenic living on the streets and two teen boys were trying to take my wallet and I stabbed both of them in the chest.
Response: Mam, out here we call those elk.
Response: Sir, your crown has been stolen?
911 caller: Yes, I am your State's Drag Queen Champion and I am missing my gold crown.
Response: You stabbed two people?
911 caller: Yes, I am schizophrenic living on the streets and two teen boys were trying to take my wallet and I stabbed both of them in the chest.
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911 caller (frantic): I need someone out here now, I see two huge reindeer!Response: Mam, out here we call those elk.
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911 caller: My name is Bill and I need to report my $5,000 crown has been stolen.Response: Sir, your crown has been stolen?
911 caller: Yes, I am your State's Drag Queen Champion and I am missing my gold crown.
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911 Caller: Can you send an officer by my house, I have a raccoon stuck in my back yard tree and I need him removed.^^^^^^^^^^
911 caller: I need paramedics immediately. My 2 year old son was at the top of my stairs and fell backwards down to the bottom and has gone into a seizure and is vomiting.
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911 caller: Yes, I am sitting in my office looking out the window into a field and I see something. I am not sure what it is, but if you could have Animal Control respond as it is either a dog or a puma.
Officer is dispatched on a hearing impaired 85 year old who is clearly disoriented and probably in need of care. When we check on the officer's status, he responds: "Well, she has her hearing aid in but can't hear me and I am standing 3 feet from her. But yet she is claiming she is hearing all kinds of voices in her head".
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Caller: Can you have Animal Control check the north side of the reservoir. I see a pelican who looks like it has swallowed an extension cord, part of it is hanging out of its mouth and the cord is trailing it when he flies.
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911 Caller: I need an ambulance as I have just been stabbed.
Response: Do you know who stabbed you?
911 Caller: Yes, I thought it was a chick. She was standing on the corner and I just told her she looked hot and then HE said he was a transvestite and for some reason didn't appreciate the compliment and turned around and stabbed me.
Response: Do you know who stabbed you?
911 Caller: Yes, I thought it was a chick. She was standing on the corner and I just told her she looked hot and then HE said he was a transvestite and for some reason didn't appreciate the compliment and turned around and stabbed me.
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911 Caller: Yes, I work at a tanning salon and I just went into the liquor store next door and their only employee on duty--well---she is passed out drunk on the floor.
So there you go, a sampler platter from this past week's 911 archives. Hope you enjoyed and, if nothing else, you know that every single gray hair I have has been earned in honest.
Til next time.....
