REDNECK ALARM CLOCK

My standard disclaimer--I cant make this stuff up...

Over the weekend, I took a call first thing one morning from an apartment manager indicating a male had just sprinted over to the office and was asked to call 911 and to get an ambulance over to his apartment. Before the manager could discern what was wrong, the male was running back to his residence.

Well, it seems his 29 year old wife had become unresponsive so he started CPR. She was transported to the hospital where she died 2 hours later.

Upon interviewing the husband, he claimed she had done methampethamines (just a little bit), but was unaware of any drug habit. He did elaborate they had lived on the streets for 8 years, neither worked, and recently became housed in the apartment, no doubt with government assistance. Well, the truth eventually surfaced. She was a Probation client with a possession of controlled substance conviction. She had two active felony warrants for failing to show on drug charges.

When asked to recount the events from the night prior, he indicated his wife and himself were watching TV until midnite. At 7am, he was then awakened by their pet squirrel who was frolicking in his hair. It was at that time he discovered his wife had just stopped breathing as she was drawing her bath.

So, once again we have a couple of life lessons. First, we can afford the drugs, but we cant afford the $15.00 basic one line phone service, which no doubt cost her her life as hubby had to run to the office losing precious minutes. Second, if you cant afford an alarm clock due to your drug abuse, just pounce on the backyard squirrel and bring him into the home.

From the front row of the circus...